Jamie Nix <>Wed, Apr 22, 11:22 AM (2 days ago)
to me

I use this title because diaries are dumb right? but I love them. Maybe if I give them a title with fruit in it, I’ll like it more.

I wonder if I will ever stop judging myself. Who did I get this from?

I am told that we are our parents. That we become them. My parents are fun so I suppose that is what I have to offer the world.

Maybe I don’t want to be fun anymore. I want to be smart. Although the last time I tried to be smart it didn’t turn out well.

I was left in a dark room. There was a huge open window with the sun beaming in. What was dark about it? My energy.

the only dark things were inside my brain. I didn’t know how to calm them down, so I tried to find guidance in the literature that laid around me.

I would read a song about Goliath and start to believe that I needed to be saved.

Or a poem about melting snow and begin my next thought with peeling back the peach fuzz of my arm. Just to see if it hurt as bad as my friends said.

I would take quizzes every morning
🙂 😦 :/ 😀

Instructions: Circle one

So I did: ( :/ )

I lied. I didn’t want them to know I was happy because if they did, I would be punished. Why did I believe this?

My grandmother told me that in every be(lie)f there is a lie

This must be why I don’t know how to think for myself because I could not be believed even if I did.

Yet – the wind, the willow tree swinging her branches, lending a hand at just the right time…maybe I do know more about myself, after all.

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